A bit of soul bearing first to put this all in perspective.
I am unemployed. I spent the last of my savings to pay my December rent. My children got nothing for
Christmas for which I will be eternally sorry to them. I can't seem to even get a part time job so needless to say things like gas in my car and food lately have been a luxury.
My rent and other expenses are due on January first. Without some sort of
Divine intervention, the
prayerman would most likely be living on the streets.
The last asset I had to sell were two fairly old, and quite frankly beat up motorcycles that I
thoroughly enjoyed riding with my son. I was reluctant to sell them because of the memories, but knew I had to do something. I dreaded the fact that selling them was my only option. I was so depressed and hopeless this morning that I literally couldn't move. But something made me get up, stop feeling sorry for myself, and at least try.
For anyone out there that suffers from clinical depression as I do, you know how difficult it is to get up when your down. When I am depressed I am the most irrational person you will ever meet, I clearly can't see the forest for the trees.
Fortunately through a tremendous amount of talk
therapy, I have learned to cope and get out of my element. It's called an action plan for intense feelings, and I've carried it in my wallet since 2001.
In an effort of complete and utter desperation, I listed both of the motorcycles, and a
refrigerator on
craigslist. The fridge was to be given away for free. For someone that is deeply depressed, this is a bona fide "moment of clarity" which I had. It just felt right that if I was trying to sell the motorcycles, that I give something away. No real justification for it, other than that it felt right.
Literally within five minutes, a man from
Atascosita called me wanting the fridge and telling me he was on his way. An hour later it was in the back of his truck. This man was an unemployed truck driver that did not have the money to buy a fridge since
Hurricane Ike came through and destroyed the one he had. Since September he and his family had lived out of coolers. In addition, his wife just got laid
offf from Fed Ex.
He told me his kids hadn't had a cold glass of milk with dinner since September. He was a Christian man because as he was leaving I said "God bless you and your family" and he replied "God bless you and your good deed."
About 6:00pm I got an inquiry about the motorcycles. I was honest with this man about the condition and he said he would come and look at them anyway. Well, long story short, he bought both of them. I also had another gentleman call me wanting to see one of the bikes. He wanted assurance that it
would not be sold by the time he got there.
Well, it turned out that the first person that showed up, wanted of the both motorcycles. This put me in a bad situation with the second gentleman as he had driven all the way from Katy on my word.
When he showed up, I told him how sorry I was that he drove all that way and they were sold. In order to make it right with him, I gave him the last $7.00 I had in my pocket. I asked if he knew any kids that rode. He said he did, and I gave him a chest protector, and a couple of old jerseys. During the writing of this, he emailed me the picture of his brother wearing the gear and told me how much he appreciated it and that it would be put to good use. A good deed.
It gets more interesting however. It turns out that the man who purchased the motorcycles(Doug) is my age, grew up in
approximately the same neighborhood I did, and our Fathers worked together. In fact I had played golf many times with his Father and mine. I remember his Father as a man that was always kind to me despite my misguided youth.
Turns out that the Doug is also a regular member at a church and believes. As he asked me more about my background, history, and what not, I told him about what I was doing as the
prayerman on twitter. We both agree that our meeting was a "God Thing." We were equally as shocked by the fact that our backgrounds were
similar and I had such fond memories of his Father who passed away in 1999.
This entire situation is completely surreal. It's surreal because while I always try to do the right thing I've screwed up a lot of really good things in my life. I'm not going to try and begin to chronicle the people I have
alienated, the things I've said I wish I hadn't, or the people I have hurt in quest of my own gratification.
From time to time I feel like I am not
deserving of God's love. Despite that, I somehow find it in me to pray everyday. I hope, I pray, I hope, I pray. But most of all, I believe. I'm still unemployed, still living hand to mouth, still being betrayed by people, but still trying to do the right thing.
WWJD is always in the back of my mind, even though I might not do it the way he would.
Hoping that my prayers get answered is always a leap of faith, but this time it paid off. What's ironic about what happened today is that I never asked God for help. I only asked for direction. Asking God to give me the winning lottery ticket or raining down a couple thousand dollars on me isn't something I would ask for.
Why without some sort of
Divine intervention could a guy that has screwed up so many things, be so blessed with an
experience like I had today? The answer is actually quite simple. God forgives us, and points us in the right direction. Sometimes when we need it, sometimes when we don't. Today I really needed it, and I think God knew it.
How can you explain something happening so easily, and so perfectly, other than with some sort of
Divine intervention? God stepped in today, and helped. That's the only
explanation I have, and I believe it.
Just believe, just believe, just believe.
Peace....
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